Kyle Handrahan

It's Not What You Think...

2008-06-06T20:55:00Z

Inhale…the thoughts begin to slow…Exhale…the breath beings to flow…Inhale…the thoughts come racing in…Exhale…using breath to bring stillness back again…Inhale…here they come again it’s just not fair…Exhale…now you’re enjoying lunch in an F15 with a lemon scented polar bear…Inhale…bringing awareness back…Exhale…spending this time in silence seems like more of an attack…Inhale…noticing the thoughts that arise…Exhale…without judgment or the need to surmise…Inhale…taking this time for yourself is a gift in the present…Exhale…with nothing but your breath feeling happy and content…Inhale…shifting inside to discover your self…Exhale…who knew all this with breath itself…Inhale…the inner dialogue seems faster than ever…Exhale…consciously observing the mind, it’s so f’n clever…Inhale…stress and tension release and dissolve…Exhale…without force or effort problems begin to solve…Inhale…calm, connected, creative but how can I get these feelings to stay…Exhale…spend a few minutes in silence every single day…Inhale…Happiness…Exhale…is…Inhale…only…Exhale…a…Inhale…breath…..Exhale…away.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T22:56:00Z

I love you mom. Thank you to my mom, and all the moms around the world for their loving support. Take a moment to KNOW that you are appreciated!

love k

Lucky dog day afternoon

2008-04-22T04:29:00Z

meeting someone in the park by chance
sharing a word, a smile, a breath and a glance
your heart begins to dance
allowing the water and rustling trees to take the lead
a moment to remember and cherish indeed
detaching from end results as you go with the flow
submitting mind to heart as you stay in the know
lost in space and time completely forgetting when, where and how it began
sitting with patient urgency feeling grateful for knowing it's all part of a plan

love
k

the last few posts left me feeling inspired. Thank you for sharing.

Dining Alone

2008-04-14T15:57:00Z

I recently discovered a great tool for self discovery and observation - eating alone at a busy restaurant in a very busy area. I just got back from a mini world tour (which I will share more of in the coming days) and while I was visiting my sister in miami I went out for dinner by myself, a first for me. Why did I have so much anxiety about eating alone in public? Seems ridiculous as I reflect back, but at the time the feelings were very 'real'. I began watching and observing whatever thoughts and feelings would arise, at first resisting, then gradually allowing whatever to come in to be perfectly alright. I was embarrassed, I was lonely, my breath was tight and short, I was a loser, I was a loner, I was shy, I was very uncomfortable, I was still, I was silent, I was a witness, I was happy, I was smiling, I was me! I realized that I was allowing the thoughts in my head to be created by what I perceived others to be thinking about me, BONKERS! I exposed my self conscious ways and allowed my selfcentered ones to save the day. Next up, going to the movies by myself ;) Thanks for reading love k

Music makes me high

2008-01-05T17:29:00Z

"And the answer that you're seeking / For the question that you found / Drives you further to confusion / As you lose your sense of ground / So don't forget to breathe"

Alexi Murdoch - "Breathe"

While I was in Mexico last October I was experiencing some ipod difficulties, it wouldn't charge. I was kinda bummed about the whole thing mostly because it was already my fourth ipod, we won't get into that. I was asking any and everyone if I could borrow their charger to see if it might work for me. After the 8th charger in 2 days failed I was ready to see how far I could skip my ipod across the pacific, waves were too big. I didn't really miss listening to music but I definitely would have enjoyed popping on the headphones and strolling down the beach. It didn't look like it was going to happen. I was 3 weeks into a month long stay and I had surrendered to the fact that I wasn't going to be able to head back to my tent after dinner and vibe out. Then out of nowhere Diana appeared with her charger to see if I wanted to try it, "why not?" I mumbled to myself and plugged it in. It worked!!! When I finally put my headphones in and pressed play, it was as if I were hearing music for the first time. Every song that came on quickly became my favourite. I was singing and dancing as I walked around the ashram, and everyone seemed happy to see me happy. I never realized how important music is too me or how it makes me feel.

This whole experience lead me to wonder if music is a distraction in my life? And after some serious inquiry, I don't believe it to be true (I would love you guys to offer your opinions as well. please). As I walk along this journey I find myself becoming more and more conscious of everything I do, and music is no different. I look for music that talks to me and thankfully it always seems to find me. Don't get me wrong I'll still crank that with soulja boy or attempt to bring sexyback with JT, but for the most part I really enjoy artists that speak to me. I've always been a big lyrics guy which I think that helps me remain conscious throughout the listening process. So as I go about my day I consciously enjoy letting k-os drop some knowledge on my ass. Or allowing Mr. Franti to lift me up when I might need boost. Or having Madlib's beats make my head bob and body move while I flip my eggs in the morning ;)

When I listen to music I hear exactly what I need to in that particular moment and I'm grateful for every note!

"I got to break it down another way like this now.
Follow me here in this moment in time
Follow the rhyme created instigated to see the crime
You commit, when you sit in the past. Don't you know?
You construct the future based on everything that you know.
But to get to the unknown, we surely must erase
All the preconceived notions they keep throwin' up in our face
On the daily. I run over tracks like Donavan Bailey
And break every record, in less than ten seconds.
They said, Oooooh! That's a real metaphysical.
We pull down the light cause the force is centrifugal
He tried to act up I had to give in
Because the truth is an offense and not a sin, word life."

K-Os - "Freeze"

Love

Brand New

2007-12-26T05:15:00Z

Merry Christmas! In keeping with the theme of receiving new things on this 25^th of December, I decided to share my newness with all of you. I hope you don’t mind.

Today was a new way for me to celebrate Christmas and to be honest I’ve been feeling a little weird since yesterday. This is the first Christmas I’ve spent away from my family. There have been times where my sister has been away, but for the most part I’ve had the exact same Christmas experience for the last 29 years. I never realized how attached I was to my tradition, until this year. I am celebrating Christmas in Winnipeg! Yup, a white Christmas indeed! (Have I mentioned how cold it is here yet?) Yesterday morning I noticed I was feeling a little bit “off”, but I wasn’t fully aware what the root of my power failure was as I went about my morning. While we were on our way to the YMCA it hit me “it’s Christmas eve, and I’m in Winnipeg!” Whoa. I noticed all the people running around trying to complete last minute chores and I thought “I should be apart of all the madness.” I wasn’t. The only thing I was concerned about was what kind of basketballs the Y would have for me to use (In case you’re wondering, the basketballs were WACK! Our stay at the gym was less than 3 minutes!). This was all very new to me and I was aware of the feelings it was bringing up. I never realized how conditioned and old my life has been up until this point. I quickly fashioned my vantage from bumming about my parents being in Miami, my sister and Jayla in Anguilla and I in winterpeg! My new way of being was a sense of staying open and seeing what new and exciting things could happen. With the help of Nancy and her family I had a wonderful Christmas holiday. They even had a few presents for me, but hey that’s not what this is about ;) It’s about NEW ways not new things!

This past year has been one of transformation for me and at times very scary (see January to July). The old Kyle was very resistant to change. And the new Kyle is more like what’s next? I don’t normally refer to myself in the 3^rd person but I can’t help it. I feel like a brand new person! I’m finding myself in new situations, surrounded by new people or more like seeing them with new eyes, sharing new love and living a new life. All the while, still maintaining a sense of the old me who helped shape the new me! I might be losing you here, but don’t fret this is where I lost myself ;) I have never felt this good about life and everything it has to offer. I look forward to meeting new people, learning new things and sharing any and every part of my being I can.

“Let me know if you feel it man. Cause everything I'm not, made me everything I am”

Kanye West – Everything I am

Love,
K

listen and respond

2007-12-19T19:21:00Z

How can "love" make you smile one minute and cry the next? Doesn't really equate. This is the type of love that most people identify with. Unfortunately, this type of love is merely a sensation. The true essence of love knows only purity without change, it isn't concerned with the emotions of happy or sad. There is only one feeling, one true meaning and that is a present moment awareness of true oneness to and with everything and everyone in the universe.
I wrote this on a napkin on a plane ride home from my yoga teachers training a few weeks ago. I was in a really nice place when all of a sudden I reached for the closest thing I could write on and let go. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular I knew I just had to write. I didn't formulate something in my head, think about how it sounded and then write it down, I just let it flow. Almost as if something greater were expressing itself through me.
I wanted to share this experience with everyone not just because of what I wrote, but more the way it unfolded. As I reflect back on this experience I can recall more than a few times where something like this has happened to me. Often times I've given advice to a friend in need and as soon as the words leave my lips I've "forgotten" what I said. As a very wise teacher once told me "I listen and respond" (thanks Darshana!) and I really believe this to be true. When I'm in my selfcentered place any answer I could ever need is right there for me or whomever else may need to hear it.

One Love,
K