Now that I'm finally feeling settled in LA, I've opened myself up to dating again. Yet because I've been so focused on building selfcentered, I kind of feel like I've lost touch with what to do. It's funny how that works....right?
So I've gone on a couple of dates and they've all been sweet but not quite right. As I was sharing this with my mom this morning, we got into a very interesting conversation that I would like to share with you. But before I do, I just want to say that I'm feeling very vulnerable for letting you into such a personal part of my life. Not only was this a private conversation with my mom but it's about my sex life.....geez, what have I got myself into?
Ok, this is how it went down:
"Maybe my standards are too high and I'm not giving people a chance. I meet some really great women but often find some reason to rationalize why they won't work. Then I feel like I'm not giving them a chance so I stick with it for longer then I should and that doesn't work out either. Are my standards too high?" I said.
"It's not that your standards are high, it's that your voice is clear. Your standard is to be happy, at home, and at peace in someone's presence. If you don't get that feeling, then you shouldn't explore it any further. That's the bottom line!" My mom said.
"But there isn't any reason for why I shouldn't be in to some of these girls." I said.
"That's your head trying to rationalize the situation. Your heart will know if it's right. Nobody's perfect. But your inner knowing will give you the green light if it's supposed to be." Mom replied.
"But these girls are pretty smokin' hot momma." I said.
"When you're with someone attractive, the body is saying f*ck me! But that's the body, and there is something else inside that feels a twinge if you go down that path and it's not right. If you ignore that voice, it will come back to bite you. This is the way god commnicates to you. It's these subtle, quiet impulses. The more you are able to listen to those signals, the faster you are able to make the right choice." Mom said.
"Fine. I guess no sex for me." I said, and hung up shortly after that.
So that's where I stand and that's that. My mom makes some EXTREMELY valuable points....and I totally don't want to hear them. But I'm going to listen because breaking patterns is never easy but always evolutionary. If I want my relationships to unfold differently then they have in the past, it's time to make different choices.
But to be blunt, I hope the universe puts me in touch with a woman that I can vibe with soon because this conscious choice thing is killing my sex life!!